


Dog tags and Drapes

by sparrow2000



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Crack, Curtain Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22023652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparrow2000/pseuds/sparrow2000
Summary: Spike and Riley go shopping...
Kudos: 2





	Dog tags and Drapes

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy et al, own everything. I own nothing.  
> Comments and feedback are cuddled and called George  
> Warning: This is a bit of curtain fic crack!
> 
> This was written as part of the 2014 snowflake_challenge as part of a surreal conversation on curtain fic. It's all brutti_ma_buoni's fault - honest. I just came across it again and because I have no shame, thought I would post it for completeness because I repeat again, I have no shame... *g*

“Blinds.” Spike poked Riley in the chest. “Blinds are manly. They’re technical. They’ve got strings to pull and rods to twiddle and they come in manly materials like plastic and metal and wood. Definitely blinds.”

Riley narrowed his eyes. This wasn’t going according to plan. He could see his dreams of pelmets and damask tiebacks and William Morris prints disappearing like the smoke streaming from the end of Spike’s cigarette. Time for plan B. “Okay honey,” he said.

“Okay?” Spike repeated. “Okay, as in you’re agreeing with me? You never agree with me. It’s part of the whole unpredictable package that keeps things interesting.”

“Sure I do,” Riley replied. He curled his hand around the chain of his dog tags, sliding them through his palm and paused with his fingertips hovering over the hollow of his throat.

Spike took a long drag of his cigarette.

Riley noticed Spike’s fingers twitch convulsively and smiled. Oh yeah, confuse and distract, SOP when engaging the enemy. “Blinds would be nice. We’ll get ones with all the strings and rods you like.” He sidled closer and whispered in Spike’s ear. “I’ve got a rod you can twiddle if you like.” He saw Spike’s cigarette go slack at the corner of his mouth and pressed his advantage. “Maybe we could get some nice Austrian blinds. I’m sure they would be manly. You know the Austrians, they’re all Schnitzel and Lederhosen – can’t get more sensible than that. Bet they have really manly blinds.” He licked a long stripe up the shell of Spike’s ear.

“Whatever you want, love,” Spike muttered. His cigarette fell out of the corner of his mouth and smoldered quietly on the pile of floral curtain samples at his feet.

Riley smiled. Ruching were in his future. He could see it now.


End file.
